The struggle is real

Hey everyone! So this is a post I’ve been wanting to do for a while but I haven’t had the courage to write it, until today. I think it is unfortunately a huge issue in our society that so many of us deal with and I would just like to share my experiences in hope of possibly helping someone else. So here goes:

A person’s weight and/or body image is something that is extremely personal. We live in a society where we are told that we need to be a certain size or we are not deemed beautiful. Because of that I feel that so many women (and men) struggle with their body image because they feel they don’t fit into the ideal standard of beauty. For as long as I can remember I have struggled with body image. Throughout my entire adolescent life I was tiny. I was super athletic due to soccer and cheerleading and weighed only about 90 pounds which was fine for my height but I still felt fat.

It is something I very rarely talk about but I did have occasional struggles with eating disorders and I always wished I was thinner. Fast forward to now, I am absolutely not the weight I was back then and I am even more unhappy with my body. I won’t even lie, I look in the mirror almost everyday and hate the person looking back at me. I never got away from that negative mindset and now that I am a bit heavier than I was back then I am even unhappier with myself. I hide it really well but it is something that truly plagues me. It is definitely my fault because I am not the healthiest eater and don’t work out as often as I should but even then, why do I feel like my weight determines my self worth?

We are entering a very body positive movement nowadays which is amazing but we are still not there yet. The thing that really set me off is the comment written on my Instagram in the second picture. How dare someone ask me that? (The original commenter has since deleted the comment but later DM’ed me again asking about my weight and made other objectifying statements). Because I am dedicating my life to sharing myself with the public I understand I open myself up more than others but why is my weight up for discussion? If I want to share that with people, it is my prerogative but the opposite is also true.

I am currently on a journey to making sure I am the best version of myself. I know it sounds super corny but it is so true. I am trying to focus on myself and all the other great things about me that have nothing to do with my weight. I know that even though someone may look at me and conclude I am not overweight, I would still like to focus on becoming healthier. I want to commit to truly eating a healthy diet and getting a consistent workout routine. With all of that being said, I still don’t want myself (or anyone else for that matter) to think that the number on the scale is equivalent to your worth as a person. Everyone is beautiful on the inside and out and we should all work on empowering one another. I hope you enjoyed getting to know another side of me that I don’t share as often and I hope this has helped ease the mind of anyone else struggling with this issue. Have a great weekend!